Celebrities don’t just want your adoration. They also want to earn your obedience.
Former “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively, 26, is the latest pretty young thing to rebrand herself as a lifestyle guru, launching her Preserve.us — yes, “preserve us” — website on Monday.
The site follows the much-used pattern of other celebrity lifestyle factories such as Gwyneth Paltrow’s oft-mocked Goop and Alicia Silverstone’s eco-obsessed The Kind Life. Boil each website down and you get three missions: save the world from bad taste and presumed toxins, share the secrets to the perfect life, and expand the use of Mason jars.
Hollywood women have long told us common folk how to live — think Jane Fonda’s legwarmers, Suzanne Somers’ Thighmaster, and Mia Farrow’s adoptions. But only recently have celebs started translating their lofty musings into lifecoaching — plus goods and services, for a fee.
The success of these lifestyle vanity projects is mixed: Business Week reported that Goop reaches hundreds of thousands of college-educated women — a key demographic — but Silverstone’s “Kind Life” YouTube channel has just 4,605 subscribers.
Somewhere in the middle is Lauren Conrad, who leveraged a role on an MTV reality show into a gig as a glossy cover girl offering recipes for summer cocktails and tips for managing your sausage curls. And she has over 69,000 subscribers to her YouTube channel.
It’s unclear where Lively will end up in the pundit pantheon, but this trend isn’t going away. Reese Witherspoon has already announced her plans for Draper James, a lifestyle company named after her grandparents, that will sell everthing from fragrance to lingerie and swaddling blankets.
Perhaps Witherspoon should take notes from our handy guide to these ventures:
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Blake Lively
preserve.us
Who she is : Actress, Martha Stewart wannabe, former Chanel spokesmodel, three-time Vogue cover girl and face of Gucci Premiere perfume.
Disingenuous disclaimer : Lively’s “editor’s letter” says she’s “no editor, no artisan, no expert. And certainly no arbiter of what you should buy, wear, or eat.”
Site philosophy : Preserve will get enthusiastic … about everything! “We may romanticize it, calling it treasure. What we’re really saying is, we see worth on every level.”
Expert advice : “A sundae is a message from the subconscious, a stratified glimpse into a man’s desire hierarchy.”
Calorie count : No deprivation here! Lively loves Baby Back Pork Ribs, whisk y cocktails and ice cream with “gobs of whipped cream.”
Artisanal aspect : Lively profiles artisans including a Brooklyn man who is praised for making wood bicycle crates. “He likes to think of his creations as dancers,” according to Preserve.
Outrageous item: Black truffle salt is $14 and there is a clay “Everyday Bowl” available for $70.
Mason mission : Mason jar candles are $18.
Practical find : Who won’t like the Chicken and Dumplings recipe from New Orleans chef Donald Link — though Lively’s recommendation to buy the $92 Chip & Dip Platter on which it is served is harder to swallow.
Rating : Excellent if you’re really, really into salt and where to put salt. Not so great for anyone who can’t pull off a Navajo blanket worn as a cape.
Elizabeth Banks
elizabethbanks.com
Who she is: Model-beautiful and hysterically funny, Banks can play both a sex kitten and a school marm. She also converted to Judaism for her husband, Max Handelman.
Site philosophy: If Banks’ fans want to know what she’s up to, she’d rather they hear it from her instead of a tabloid.
Disingenous disclaimer: “I just feel like I have some Really Important wisdom to impart on all of you.” She may be kidding, she may be serious. It’s all part of the fun.
Life advice: “Parenting is messy and exhausting 300% of the time. (Yes, it’s also completely and awesomely rewarding and wonderful, but that’s beside the point here.)”
Calorie count: Carbs were everywhere, including in a recipe for “Fat Bottom Mac & Cheese With White Cheddar and Smoked Gouda.” Bring it on!
Artisanal aspect: On Halloween, Banks posted a photo of herself painting a pumpkin white, and then digging metal nails into the top and attaching purple felt for the mouth. “I’m no Martha Stewart, but indulge me.”
Outrageous item: There’s nothing to buy on the site, but she does offer listicles such as: “Ten Badass Things You Didn’t Know About Helen Keller.”
Mason mission : Much to her credit, there is not a Mason jar in sight!
Practical find: Banks responds to a Twitter fan asking how she gets such great hair volume with a video message. “Flip your hair over, tease it, flip it back up,” she says.
Rating : Funny, relatable and insider-y. Wonderful for “Pitch Perfect” fans — isn’t that everyone?
Lauren Conrad
laurenconrad.com
Who she is: Salon once called Conrad “one of the dullest major characters in reality television history.” And Allure said her “basic” look is “remarkably unremarkable.” Nevertheless, she has two fashion lines of her own and 3.2 million Instagram followers.
Disingenous disclaimer: “I’m not going to tell you about a miracle diet or fitness phenomenon that will instantly change your life,” she says, though much of the site is that.
Site philosophy: Pink lettering and hues guide you on a journey through perfect exercises, perfect recipes and perfect makeup.
Life advice: “A bikini body is not a certain weight, size or shape. It simply means working hard to treat your body right, exercise, eat healthy and then feeling confident in your bikini.”
Calorie Count: Conrad’s favorite summertime snack is watermelon. Instead of providing tips on how to slice it, however, Conrad just posts a photo of it. Thanks!
Artisanal aspect: Conrad recommends gluing glitter on to Easter eggs, creating mini pinatas as favor boxes for a wedding.
Mason mission : Has a ton of obligatory Mason jar crafts, including “DIY Mason Jar Snow Globes.”
Outrageous item: The clothes she sells on her site are pretty wearable and affordable, including a gold ring for $9 and knee-high leather boots for $69.99.
Practical find: Purple cabbage for wrinkle repair. “If you’re worried about wrinkles, eating lots of purple cabbage is the way to go.” Who knew this random vegetable could lower cortisol levels in the body? Conrad did!
Rating : B for Basic.
Alicia Silverstone
thekindlife.com
Who she is: After “Clueless” put her on the map, Silverstone chose to embrace an anti-vaccine, anti-diapers, anti-meat approach to parenting. By the way, this includes regurgitating food into her kid’s mouth like a bird.
Site philosophy: “Living your healthiest and happiest life to the fullest, while taking care of mama Earth at the same time!”
Disingenous disclaimer: “(Parenting) is so much simpler (and more fun) than getting bogged down in the trendy parenting mandates that are all about rigid guidelines.”
Life advice: She’s not sure if plants feel pain, but best to err on the safe side. “There is an undeniable difference between watching an animal cry, scream and see it suffer and fight for its life, as opposed to guessing if the plant has that reaction.”
Calorie count: Silverstone is all about raw food, and it shows in her recommendations. From brown rice syrup (in lieu of sugar) and sweet carrot salad to tips on using kuzu root and agar agar. She’s nothing if not original.
Artisanal aspect: She turns the spotlight on shopping cart gardens, which are mobile gardens made in abandoned and broken shopping carts. They’re loony, but also pretty adorable.
Outrageous Item: Kind Mama Milk Share. Silverstone asked for breast milk for women in need — and moms in Virginia and California have offered theirs up.
Mason mission : Silverstone recommends making her vegan Coffee Fudge Brownie Mix — carob chips, walnuts, cocoa powder and more — in a Mason jar.
Practical find: Just because you can’t adopt a pet at the moment doesn’t mean you can’t support a local animal shelter. Silverstone posts a list of what you can give to a shelter, from used baby clothes to towels and plastic bags.
Rating : Best for moms not repulsed by pre-chewing food for their babies. So, all two of you!
Jessica Alba
honest.com
Who she is: After a middling acting career, Alba rededicated her life to raising her two children and creating a lifestyle company to rid her life of rogue toxins. Never mind that the Better Business Bureau gave the company a C- rating.
Site philosophy: Eco-friendly, anti-plastic, all-natural lifestyle products specifically geared to babies. Oh, and being the anti-Goop. “Gwyneth Paltrow probably lives a very similar lifestyle, but I didn’t grow up with a bunch of money, so my tips are much more grounded,” she once said.
Disingenous disclaimer: “We are real tangible people, parents that understand what families need and we want to deliver on that — not some big corporation with no social consciousness that only cares about making a profit.”
Life advice: Make every day Earth Day.
Calorie Count: Beware the word “natural” on food packaging, says Alba. And don’t think you’re automatically being healthy by buying granola, dried fruit and smoothies.
Artisanal aspect: Get together with the kids, write activities like “make homemade bubbles” and “create popsicle stick bracelets” on pieces of paper and stuff them in the jar for a rainy day.
Outrageous item: Alba recommends an African walnut tree swing, which is basically a wooden seat and two pieces of rope attached — $150.
Mason mission: Alba advises families to create a Boredom Jar for the summer.
Practical find: Alternative uses for baby powder, like spreading it over sand-soaked shoes to repel the crystals and absorbing bad odors inside your sneakers.
Rating : Good for paranoid moms who don’t want their kids to play with toys that aren’t made of wood.
Gwyneth Paltrow
goop.com
Who she is: The original digital grande dame of all things tasteful, healthy and impractical, Paltrow embodies the all-knowing celebrity goddess who bestows enviable wisdom upon the masses who long to live just like her.
Site philosophy: “To share all of life’s positives. From creating a delicious recipe to finding a perfect dress for spring, Gwyneth began curating the best of lifestyle to help her readers save time, simplify and feel inspired.” Also, to break news about her own conscious uncoupling!
Disingenous disclaimer: “Goop gives readers exclusive access to recipes, travel guides, fashion, wellness tips, cultural notes and more.” That’s only true if the word “access” means “blank check to pay for all this stuff.”
Life advice: “How many times a day do we throw our words away? We say things like, ‘I hate my hair,’ ‘I’m so stupid,’ ‘I’m such a klutz.’ We never think that these words bring negative energy into our vibration, but they do… Consider the fact that your body is over 70% water and you’ll understand how quickly the vibration from negative words resonates in your cells.”
Calorie count: The author of two cookbooks, Paltrow knows that she can’t limit her Goop recipes to all-raw-all-the-time stuff. So she democratically includes White Pear Kimchi, pasta with sea urchin and beet-cured gravlax.
Artisanal aspect: Paltrow asked her favorite hotels for their “bed recipes,” or how they make the beds so comfy. From The Berkeley Hotel in London: “The trick here is moisture. To keep the bed crisp and without any creases we spray a bit of water on the top of the duvet to moisten the linen before pulling it very tautly on either side.”
Outrageous item: Two silver decanters, $4,495. Or a thimble-shaped shot glass for $950. Or one single monogrammable wooden beach paddle, $110.
Mason mission : Paltrow’s “Pink Lemonade” recipe calls for Mason jars.
Practical find: There’s nothing wrong with Paltrow’s recipe for Bourbon Sweet Tea. Nothing wrong at all.
Rating : Best site overall (for Paltrow and her close circle of friends).
